KELLY’S KORNER: Ride Your Own Ride
Last Updated: February 6th, 2021
Ride Your Own Ride
Ladies, pretend your husband/boyfriend/significant other/friend has just asked you to go riding with them and/or a group of their friends. If your first reaction is one of anxiety or dread, rather than excitement or joy, this column is for you.
When I started riding in 2007, I had no history with the sport and knew next to nothing about bikes. Strike one for self-confidence. I was 50 pounds overweight. Strike two for self-confidence. I was riddled with self-doubt, for reasons going way, way back. Strike three for self-confidence. But, somehow, I knew that learning to ride would take me places inside and outside of myself that I could not imagine, and empower me to make important changes outside of my riding life. My hunch was correct. I have earned new levels of self-confidence by using a variety of tools. Specific to riding, the most important concept has remained, “Ride your own ride.”
Let’s face it. As a new female motorcyclist, riding with men – no matter how kind and patient – who’ve been on bikes for years often feels intimidating. A typical first thought for women is, “I don’t want to hold them back. I have to keep up.” Cue the internal stress. The scenario worsens if we’re talking about riding with dudes who value speed over skill and who fail to acknowledge that not everyone is up for taking pointless risks. That’s when the stress soars, and the riding experience no longer represents freedom and fun. Now, I don’t want to kid you. We women can apply this same pressure to one another, too. I’ve experienced it and I don’t like it. We should be leading the way in encouraging other women to ride their own rides. The more confident women on are their bikes, the more confident we are in life. And confident women are catalysts.
(The author by the Pacific Ocean, July 2012)
The answer to all of this is simple: Ride your own ride. After a couple of outings where I fretted more about impeding my fellow riders than about how I felt being on the bike, I turned into a die-hard “ride your own ride” adherent. When I give myself permission to ride my own ride, I stop worrying about what other people think. For real. I. Do. Not. Care. (And this is not easy because I, of course, care about what other people think of me. So, prepare for some resistance from the voice in your head and be ready with positive messages to counteract it.) At the same time, I do not ask my friends to wait for me; I want them to ride their own rides.
Sloughing off ego through “Ride your own ride” frees me to listen to my mental and physical states, and adjust my riding experience as desired. I’m focusing on me – the feel of leaning into the turns, the joy of taking in new scenery and the Zen moments of letting my head gain the clarity I’ve only ever found on a bike. As soon as I think about whether I’m holding someone back, or whether they consider me a good rider, I give myself more distractions. And what are distractions on a bike? Hazards. The clamor in your head is a distraction, and therefore a hazard. Implement “Ride your own ride” and I promise you an instant, deep-down boost in your confidence, and a reduction in distraction on the bike.
To help make that happen, feel free to be picky about the people with whom you’ll ride. Go with friends who challenge you just enough to improve your riding each time you go out, but who never ridicule or demean you, or make dangerous demands. (If, as has happened to me, you end up in a group of unknowns and you don’t like one or more of the riding styles, split off. I’ve done this. Just let the other people go or move up past them.) If the person putting undue pressure on you happens to be your significant other, keep riding outside of the relationship until you are ready to change that boundary. Seek out people you click with in TEAM AZ classes or bike night, and check out sites such as Meetup.
We want to know about your experience. Head over to the TEAM Arizona Facebook page and tell us what you’ve learned to make sure you “Ride Your Own Ride”.
Next month, I’m going to talk about CHOOSING your own ride. You won’t believe how big a difference the motorcycling experience can be when you find a motorcycle that fits you best.
