How to Overcome Your Motorbike Riding Fear
Last Updated: November 29th, 2020
Whether it’s good or not so good, the reality is that I learn best by having my own experiences. It’s easy to talk about a concept and try to project someone else’s knowledge into my own life. But my head often doesn’t process a truth until I go through the requisite lesson.
Case in point. My husband and I often talk about fear in relation to motorcycling, since fear constitutes a key part of the Total Control curriculum and he teaches Total Control. The main question is, “Can you handle it if…?” In terms of motorcycling, I thought I had this base covered. Yes, I can handle it if I crash – been there, done that. Yes, I can handle it if I [insert circumstance here].
Well, guess what? I took my Triumph Street Triple R to the Total Control Track Clinic at Willow Springs a month ago, for the third time, and I couldn’t handle the fear.
Here’s the kicker. My fear was not of hurting myself. Instead, I feared damaging Hinckley (yes, I name my bikes. And no, the name is not a reference to a wannabe presidential assassin, as was recently pointed out to me. The Triumph factory is located in Hinckley, England.). However, it took almost two days for my brain and emotional IQ to connect, and figure out the exact fear and reasons for the lack of enjoyment I was feeling on the track.
All I knew was that all day Saturday, I was not having fun. My frustration mounted as the (wonderful) Total Control instructors tried to get me to have fun. Yet, the more I saw everyone else having a great time, the more I felt anxious, stressed and down on myself for not performing as well as I believed I should be, and for not feeling the joy of simply being on the track. I knew I was in my head, holding myself back, and making little progress in my riding, but I was not yet sure why.
And then the epiphany occurred. On the second day, Lee Parks loaned me his 150CC dirt bike he had outfitted for the track. The second I went around Turn 1, I had the most fun I have ever had on the track. Ever. And, for the first time all weekend, I was grinning – through every lap. It’s hard for me to describe the level of exhilaration and joy I felt.
That was when I realized how much I had been limiting myself all weekend because of the bike I was riding. I love my Triumph. And at some point I had subconsciously decided I could not handle it if I damaged Hinckley, even though I had stated aloud to my husband, several times, that I could handle such a situation.
Meanwhile, during the track clinic, I watched two friends work through challenges– one more than once – and wrap up the weekend riding at levels far beyond where they started two days prior. It took me some time to put it all together but when I did, I knew they had decided not to let fear impede their growth. Me? I let fear win. But I also learned an important lesson that I evidently was not going to learn just by engaging in “Can you handle it?” conversations.
My lesson was three-fold:
- First, I learned, once again, that when I let fear win, I lose (sometimes the same lesson has to be hammered, in different ways, into this thick brain).
- Second, when I try a new avenue – riding a different kind of bike, for example – I discover that I don’t have to do something like a track day the way I’ve done it before. It’s okay for me to change my mind about how I approach aspects of my riding.
- Third, sometimes I have to go through the negative to reach the positive (another rehash that the cosmos apparently thought I required).
So, yes, I’m getting a dirt bike that I can take on the track. Does this make me a quitter? I don’t think so. I don’t want to face the consequences of damaging Hinckley and I’m okay with having that threshold. I do want to improve my riding and, dammit, have fun doing it! I’ve said it before – if we’re not having fun on our bikes, we won’t ride. If I don’t have fun on the track, I won’t go back, and I’ll miss out on the important skill work I need.
I’m going back. With a WR250 and a giant smile.
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