Kelly’s Korner: Escaping the Holidays As Fast As You Can
Last Updated: November 30th, 2020
Holiday season has arrived. And for many of us, that means formulating an escape plan. Since we all ride, I’ll assume we’d want to carry out this escape on the world’s fastest production street bike.
Well, be glad 1894 is long past. That’s when the first production street bike, the Hildebrand & Wolfmueller, would have carted you off at a top speed of 28 mph. Family members could have pelted you with mashed potatoes at that rate.
Now, however, you can get away from dry turkey, druncles and other dysfunction at a speed of between 206 and 249 mph courtesy of the Kawasaki Ninja H2 like the one shown above being ridden by TEAM Arizona Track Day participant Gordon Bradford. (Its track-only counterpart, the H2R, achieved that 249 mph this past June with World Supersport rider Kenan Sofuoglu on the saddle.) And the price of such a vanishing act isn’t even that hefty: the base model costs $26,000.
Joking aside (or not), that time of year has come when I do indeed ponder the best way to approach (or avoid) the traditions. T and I used to engage in them out of obligation. These days, we decide on a case-by-case basis what we want to do. If we want to go to a relative’s or friend’s home for the all-out to-do, we do. If we want to go dirt biking and eat turkey jerky at the top of a mountain instead, we do that. If we want to go to the movies and hide from reality, we do that. If we want to take part in a Louis C.K.-inspired “Bang Bang” with uncouth friends, we do. It all depends on what we’re up for that year, how tired or adventurous we feel on the first four-day weekend after many long months of non-stop work.
I encourage everyone to rethink the holiday routines and make sure you’re doing what you actually want to be doing. And if what you really want to do ties into motorcycling, so much the better. Life is too short to spend two months in dread, busyness, overspending, stress and whatever else November and December tend to trigger, simply out of societal expectation. Get the whole family to evaluate traditions with you. Maybe you do indeed snap up the world’s (current) fastest production motorcycle and spend Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, or both, screaming in your helmet, racing your kid, and creating far more amazing and happy memories than any over-produced dinner ever provided.
Have you ever absconded for the holidays in favor of a two-wheel adventure? I’d love to hear about it. Drop me a note at kellyteal13@gmail.com.
p.s. Another rabbit hole: This whole topic of fastest production motorcycle then got me thinking about the fastest woman on a bike. Turns out, Valerie Thompson just took that title in September after a 313-mph run at the Bonneville Motorcycle Speed Trials. She rode a Dennis Manning-designed “7” Racing streamliner.
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